Glengarry History department 1996

 retro 1996

Monday morning- History and Genealogy, Social Science Philosophy and Religion workroom. Bob Timmermann paces about as Glen Creason, Michael Kirley, Glenna Dunning and Carolyn Cole straggle in. They are waiting for Cynthia McNaughton but Timmermann grows impatient. He speaks to Linda Moussa:

Bob: “Well, I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important. PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN. Coffee’s for closers ONLY! You think I am fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I’m here from the fourth floor. I’m here from Cecilia and Anne. I am here on a mission of mercy!

Bob: “Your name’s Creason?”

GC: Yeah

Bob: You call yourself a librarian you son of a bitch?

GC: I don’t have to listen to this shit.

Bob: “You certainly don’t pal. Cause the good news is that you are fired. The bad news is: you’ve got, all of you’ve got just one week to regain your jobs. Starting with today, starting with today’s reference desk.

Bob: Oh, have I got your attention now? Good, cause we’re adding a little something to this months reference contest. As you know, first prize is a happy donut. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a sour ball from Cheryl’s desk. Third prize is you work desks with David Brenner.

Bob: Do you get the picture? You laughing now? You’ve got the desk tools,  Susan and Cecilia paid good money. Get their questions and answer them. You can’t give them full text, you can’t  find census EDs, you can’t find Sanborns, you can’t find shit. You are shit! So hit the bricks pal and beat it because you are going out!

GC: “the online periodicals are week.

Bob: The online periodicals are weak? The proquest is fucking weak? You’re weak! I’ve been in this business ten years.

MK What’s your name?

Bob: Fuck You! That’s my name. You know why baldy? Cause you drove a Ford Probe to get here today. I drove a Toyota Camry. THAT’S my name!

Bob: (turns and points to Creason) And your name is you’re wanting. If you can’t play in the man’s game , you can’t remember the details, you go home and tell your cats your troubles. Because one thing counts in this life: get them to leave the department. You hear me you fucking faggots?

Bob: (at the blackboard) A, B, E…Always…Be…Evasive  A, I, D, A…Attention, Interest, Decision, Action! Do I have your attention? Interest: are you interested in hard copy? I know you are because it is fuck or walk. You close questions or you hit the bricks. Decision, have you made your decision for Christ? And action like the ALA.
Bob: Get out there. You got the genealogists and internet bums coming in. You think they came in to get out of rain? A guy don’t walk in the reading room lest he wants to inquireMK: you're such a hero, you're an acting senior. How come you come down to LL4 and waste your time with such a bunch of bums?

Bob: You see this Nakamura bobblehead doll?

MK: yeah

Bob: That doll cost more than your pink plastic tote bag. I made $50 a game on stringing last year. How much did you make? You see pal, that's who I am and you are nothing. Fussy guy? I don't give a shit. Good pet owner, fuck you, go home and play with your cats.  

You want to work here, close questions. (walks over to Glenna) You think this is abuse? You SPNB-ite. You can't take this, how you going to take the abuse you get on a desk. You don't like it? Go work in Soc or Infonow.

I can go out there right now, the desk tools you got, and answer like twelve gen or map questions in one shift. Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise. A I D A Get mad you sons of bitches, get mad!

You know what it takes to work reference desks? It takes brass balls to hand out newspapers and empty trans-logic carts. The nuts are out there, waiting to give you their psychotic rambling. I've got no sympathy for you. Antlers, Evil, Frevele, the Genealogy bum, the chairman! You want to go out on those desks today and close questions, close, it's yours. If not, you're going to be ironing my shirts. And you know what you will be saying, a bunch of losers sitting around McCormicks: "oh...I used to be an reference librarian...it's a tough racket."

    These are the new databases. The Glengarry databases. And to you they are gold and you don't get them. Because giving you access would be just throwing them away. They are for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it.

(Walks back to MK to get his Nakamura bobblehead) And to answer your question about why I am here. I came here because Anne and Cecilia asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and tranfer all these losers to Ascot branch because a loser is a loser.