hey, that's me up on the Jumbotron

To review yesterday's fussing, the fast becoming admirable Mayor Villagairosa nobly offered to send a group of LA City employees off to aid the Katrina evacuees and made a call to our troops. On a bleeding heart liberal whim I raised my hand when the call arose and like Paul Baumer in "All Quiet on the Western Front" I was filled with fervor about helping the less fortunate. I pictured myself standing on the bow of a zodiak boat, pulling desperate cats and humans onto my rescue craft and driving buses filled with grateful victims out of soaked Le Vieux Carre de la Ville. After all, wouldn't it make great conversation at one of Greg's dinner parties? Plus, they were only going to take like a dozen out of over 50 applicants.
A funny thing happened when the library actually designated me as an official representative and handed my vitals over to city personnel for assignment. Being a former draft dodger and non-joiner of any cause I am slightly numbed by the prospect of being sent just anywhere at any time but the die is cast. Shortly I will be given orders to report to a Red Cross shelter somewhere between Los Angeles and New Orleans. I could get sent to Mississippi or Glendale but I will not know until the Red Cross gives me a call. The stint is proposed as a nine day, non-stop gig doing whatever is necessary to get the victims back on their feet. As a soft-bellied middle-class pinko peacenik wuss I will be given the opportunity to show myself and everybody else that I AM morally superior to Republicans. Wish me luck!